Winged Razorblades
The taste of ash lingers,
As my cigarette burns to oblivion,
Leaving nothing but the scent,
Of a past that is exhaled into the wind,
The clock’s ticks are a stream of bullets,
Bouncing on the cheap plywood walls,
That pierces not only my flesh,
But also the folds of my fragile sanity,
I scream into the abyss that surrounds,
The four corners of my bed,
And yet no sound is heard,
Only the crackle of my veins as they burst,
My eyes weep blood tears,
Scarlet droplets that stain my cheek,
And paint my covers with sorrow,
Coating my very soul with torment,
The shadows creep closer upon me,
Dragging with them the silent revelries,
Of a past that needs to remain dead,
And buried in the graveyard of my memory,
4 AM
The sky is dark with hints of gray,
The pale moon gleams o’er the weary way,
Three of three, walk on by,
To seek the home of one whose heart is full of sighs,
The hour is late, but sometimes early,
Filled with fear and eyes that are beady,
Two of three walk on either side,
Of one whose heart’s been hurt twice four times,
Lungs are heavy,
Feet are cold,
The route is steady,
Growing ever bold,
The silent whispers of the night,
Grow wings and take flight,
Hallowed steps on hallowed ground,
Fills the void with sound,
The ending beckons one of three,
Whose wish is to find peace and glee,
Tired limbs and eyes heavy,
A warm bed is the place to be,
The road is done,
A promise kept,
The darkness gone,
And sorrows wept,
None of three now remain,
The sun is rising o’er the plain,
Dreams of moments long and past,
Shall be the ones to leave last,
Forever and a day
The countless seconds we have been apart,
Fill the blank pages of my memory and stain,
The shards of my immortal soul,
With each passing moment,
The rift in my heart grows wider,
And swallows the love I once felt for you,
I had once sworn to love you forever,
Or at least until the stars burned out
And the sky fell to the bottom of the sea,
As it very well seems, as I gaze,
Into the pitch black sky with pieces of it missing,
That the day has finally come for us to part,
I shall love you all the days of my life,
But my heart can no longer keep you in it,
For the weight of you has crippled me,
Summer days are but a faint memory in the wind,
That have joined the fancies of childhood I have buried,
Along with the scars of our union,
I am yours and you are mine for all eternity,
We shall live on in the ripples of history and memory,
That shall neither fade nor die,
But for now my beloved leave me to find,
Myself and another to bestow the love I once gave you,
Leave me and we might just find each other someday,
Sunflower
The darkness that once covered my soul died,
With the coming of the new dawn,
The once cold limbs now burn with love for you my beloved,
Your voice, your slender body which sends shivers down my soul,
Feeds my desire to once again touch your skin,
My one wish is to stare into your eyes and lose myself,
My passion for you burns like a million suns that rise with each day,
An opium love affair that dances on the edge of a sword,
The tip of which is pointed directly to my open heart,
When I am in your presence, time holds no place,
But when we are apart, a second is an eternity of pain,
The longing rakes on my mind and cripples my senses,
The silent revelries of my mind rattle with each naysayer,
But I seek solace in your arms and in the sound of your loving voice,
I am within a womb that shelters me from doubt,
I now live a borrowed life that I can no longer repay,
I am your suppliant that you have blessed with your grace,
My courage to rise from slumber comes from your loving gaze,
I am your eternal lover, ever vigilant to any danger,
A man who will brave a tempest to keep you dry,
For I must take heed to let in not a drop for you may wither,
Ramblings of a man in love
The lights were dim and a simple lamp illuminated the room we were in. The hustle and bustle of the restaurant echoed within the four walls and yet we seemed to be trapped within a bubble. Each movement she made gave me bliss and I could not hide my joy for I glowed with pure passion and love. I sat there and watched her eat and with each bite my heart seemed to skip a beat. I felt as if the weight of the world was pressing down on my chest as I struggled to find the words to tell her. I prayed to God to give strength for I was unsure as to what outcome of this night might bring.
Three weeks, three weeks that seemed an eternity to me. With each day I rise and I long to hear her voice that was my only nourishment. She became my fuel to fight the never-ending cycle of life and I adored her for giving me back my sanity. Hours of talking that stretched on to the wee hours of the morn and not once did I feel the fatigue. I was new man, a man who had found his meaning and purpose. She was the reason of my rebirth and I thank her for all the days of my life that she has touched.
The waiter approached to take our dessert order and I scorned his indifference. Did he not see that he was in the midst of a goddess and that he had broken my rhythm? I once again scoured for the words that would show her my intentions were sincere and that I truly loved her. Never in my wildest fantasies did I imagine that words could ever fail me and I stuttered for the first time in my life. But I could no longer hold back for I felt as if I would explode with all the emotions that were fighting to get out. In mid-sentence I came out and uttered the words of my salvation. “I like you” were the first three words I could say coherently and I blushed a fiery crimson from shame. She stared at me with her beautiful eyes and smiled a smile that I could not bare to look at. At that instant my words came back and I echoed words filled with longing and love that seemed to flow from the very core of my heart. She sat there silent but still wearing that smile I had long wanted to see. In that moment of silence I understood that words were no longer needed to express my love for her for she herself needed not a sentence to tell me that it was ok. I may not fully understand what happened that night the one thing I am sure is that I will love her till the stars burn out and the darkness claim me once again.
Psychosis 101
Half-lit cigarette burning fast,
The horse running wildly in my veins,
Burning every cell inside my body,
Strobe lights inside my mind,
A string of northern lights that blind my eyes,
A cocaine-induced hysteria killing me slowly,
The guitar rhythm fuels my rotting carcass,
Steaming adrenalin pumping in my bloodstream,
A poison cocktail filled with death,
Opium den run by Chinese whore mongers are my friends,
Doing a jig while shooting each other with heroin,
Each of their orifices bleeding coal black blood,
The earth shaking under my feet,
A chasm breaks open and I fall into the abyss,
I wake up covered in vomit and my own foul excrement,
